


Chains of the Past, Hope for the Future

by CynicSun92



Series: New Lives, New Horizons [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Difficult Decisions, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nostalgia, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 18:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10792239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicSun92/pseuds/CynicSun92
Summary: Nate looks back on events that have brought him to where he is now. Taking a moment for himself as he watches over activity within his new home at the Castle, he privately laments everything he had lost. His home, his family...But he thinks on everything he has gained during his time in the Commonwealth, enough to grant him some hopes for the future.Especially when his lover is probably the only person in the wasteland who understands him the most.





	Chains of the Past, Hope for the Future

**Author's Note:**

> The next one-shot of this collection. These fics are mostly written whenever I have nothing better to do and I decided to share them in case anyone's interested. I hope you all enjoy.

Even with the Institute gone, it seemed that the work of the Minutemen had piled around double the amount following those events. Every week there were more raiders on the loose, more super mutants prowling the wastes and a few Institute stragglers to shepherd to the nearest settlement, so long as they didn’t start trouble. When Nate was not worrying about potential threats, then he was dealing with concerns regarding resources and building materials. The man practically had a tower of requisition forms on his desk waiting to be answered and sorted out.

_‘And to think that I wanted to settle for a desk job after I was done with my service in the Army…’_

The General sighed, setting the clipboard in his hand onto his desk before reaching up and rubbing his eyes from how tired and sleepy he had become lately. He was starting to find that using his words, his pen and his mind to solve most problems was perhaps more exhausting than jumping right into the thick of the fight and he was becoming a little eager to set foot outside the Castle and deal with the Commonwealth’s troublemakers personally.

He forced himself to stay however, and he planned on doing so at least until his negotiations with the Brotherhood of Steel came to a ‘positive’ end.

Nate thought that with him present at the Minutemen’s stronghold, the Brotherhood and his own soldiers would be less inclined to risk a diplomatic incident with each other that could lead to a worst case scenario involving war. He trusted his own soldiers to be disciplined enough to behave but not so much the Brotherhood. He anticipated an attempt or two at provocation by some disgruntled soldiers behind Maxson’s back

From what Nate understood, Arthur (though mostly his inner circle) and the Brotherhood were a little…unhappy, with the Minuteman leader’s methods and practices.

_‘Unhappy is an understatement…’downright pissed’ is more like it…’_

In hindsight, Nate knew where their displeasure was coming from.

He did, after all, disobey Maxson’s order to execute Paladin Danse when it was discovered that the veteran soldier was in fact a synth. Even went as far as to turn his gun on the young leader outside Listening Post Bravo when he was becoming too stubborn for Nate’s liking. It was the former Knight’s way of ‘presenting his resignation from the Brotherhood of Steel’.

…And after helping the former Paladin to sort out some of his issues, Nate recruited him into the Minutemen.

He also had the Minutemen take in and protect a select number of synths that had been running from the Institute or striking out on their own in the wastes, so long as they weren’t out to cause harm or disturb the peace.

Recently allowing the Railroad to operate from within the Castle, arming the Minutemen with better, almost military grade weapons and equipment over obsolete pipe weapons, ‘stealing’ the victory over the Institute that most soldiers and officers within the Brotherhood believed should have been rightfully theirs…the list of things Nate had done to make Maxson and his ilk pop a few veins in their foreheads went on and on…

The General got up from his chair and headed for the doors that would take him to the courtyard, paying no additional mind to the mess of documents on his desk beforehand. He gave quick greetings to the guards and passersby that saluted him and headed up the stone steps to the upper part of the old fort.

A sudden coastal wind greeted him at the top, sweeping past him and brushing the lapels and edges of his General’s Coat as he took a moment to lean against the railway and look below at the courtyard of Fort Independence.

Where the Castle had once been a destitute ruin, a forgotten relic of history from both prewar and postwar times, now it was bustling with activity from the newly reformed Minutemen and in time, would stand as the Commonwealth’s central bastion of military (and perhaps political) authority.

In the months before and after the fall of the Institute, Nate had worked tirelessly to restore the old fort to its former glory as well as helping to turn the Minutemen into an actual formidable force. A daunting task that had been made slightly less difficult thanks to his former training as a soldier, as well as the connections and good impressions he had made amongst some of the Commonwealth’s populace.

Despite finding his work in the Minutemen to be tedious and annoying some of the time (he shuddered at the thought of Preston popping out of nowhere to tell him that another settlement needed his help…again), Nate could not deny that he grew proud of his handiwork…no, he was proud of the Minutemen’s handiwork. He gave the others under his leadership the guidance and training they needed to get started since the General had made it clear that he did not intend to hold their hand forever.

The Minutemen would have to learn to fend for themselves when the time came that General Nathaniel Griffin could no longer lead them, otherwise they would crumble within a year.

From where he stood, he could see almost everything that went on inside the Castle and he admired how the repairs across the place had gone quite smoothly. The broken down walls of the old fort had been reconstructed within two weeks after having been retaken as the inhabitants of the Castle had waited for the needed concrete. Clean-up had been thorough enough within recent months that there was practically no trace of a previous decades-long Mirelurk infestation within its walls.

With the turrets repaired and the scorch marks of laser fire polished away, it almost felt like the Institute never attacked the Minutemen’s fortress in the first place. The memorial wall near the armory with the names of fallen militiamen etched onto it made sure to remind Nate and everyone else that it had all been very real.

The days following the destruction of the Institute had not been an easy time for him. It wasn’t necessarily the battle itself. The attack on the Castle had been the final straw, more so when the Institute launched simultaneous attacks on other settlements as well.

Nate wholeheartedly agreed that the Institute had to be stopped and it’s people and leaders be brought to justice to answer for any wrongdoings they may have committed in the name of ‘science’ or ‘the future of humanity’ or whatever other clichéd justification he heard falling from the lips of the frightened and defiant scientists over and over again as they were brought into Minutemen custody.

What hurt him the most about those events was the fact that Shaun, his own son, the very son that led Nate to go to practically every corner of the Commonwealth to search for, had been the leader of the Institute all along. An old man who could have been Nate’s father for all intents and purposes, who had been raised by the community of scientists in his parents stead and had been already set in his own doctrines and beliefs, to further the goals of the Institute and to pacify anyone who could have opposed them…mostly through the use of force.

Shaun treated the death of his mother with a slight trace of indifference, regarding the incident as an ‘unfortunate instance of collateral damage’. He had overseen the FEV experiments and kept the whole thing under wraps even from his own people, allowing the resulting super mutants to be released to the surface to wreak havoc across the Commonwealth. He saw the synths, his own creations and especially the Gen-3’s, as tools to be programmed and used to fulfill the whims of the Institute, instead of humanoid beings who had the capacity for sentience.

Nick Valentine, Danse and Glory came to Nate’s mind almost immediately. They were among the handful of synths that he considered more human than actual human beings.

But that was not all…

Shaun had eventually confessed in conversation that it was he who had his father released from cryo-stasis, curious as to how Nate would react to the wasteland he would find himself in and what course of action he would have taken. Nate’s journey across the Commonwealth, his constant fight for survival…it was just another one of Shaun’s experiments born out of a twisted sense of curiosity.

Nate could not see himself being an accomplice to the Institute’s endeavors…could not find it in himself to be a part of their selfish vision of the future which the scientists have deluded themselves into thinking as a perfect future for both them and humanity in general, where in reality they would be doing more harm than good in the long run to the wasteland…and to themselves.

Shaun had promised his father the Directorship once he passed away and for a moment Nate wondered if he could lead the Institute down a better path. But many of the scientists there had been set in their ways, especially the Board of Directors, who would have without a doubt stonewalled any attempts to reform the Institute and find a more peaceful resolution towards the conflicts between them and the Commonwealth.

A chance for change and reform was slim at best and even if he somehow managed it, no doubt the results would bear fruit long after he was gone and a lot more blood would have probably been spilled in the process.

No, the Institute has had plenty of chances to make a good impression on the people of the wasteland and they squandered it at every turn by playing god. Their time had to end to allow the Commonwealth the opportunity to decide its own fate, for better or worse.

That conclusion did little to diminish how Nate was hurting inside once he laid eyes on Shaun during the attack. To see his son lay there helplessly on his deathbed, too sick and weak to move any longer. The upset look on his face and the betrayal in his eyes as he realized that everything he had strived for in his life would go up in flames, ended by his own father no less. The way his reproachful words dripped with a mix of venom, disappointment and the slightest tinge of pain. Nate would never forget it.

He wasn’t much of a superstitious man but he had to wonder if Nora had been watching everything that had unfolded from wherever she was in the afterlife. What would she have thought of this whole situation?

Would she have understood that what Shaun and the Institute have been doing all these years, all their experiments, was unacceptable and they had to answer for everything they had done?

Or would she be cursing his name for turning his back on their son, on his very own flesh and blood?

_‘Would she also be angry that I found someone else now? Hopefully not…’_

It was best not to dwell on it. There was no point to that anymore. Nora was gone and now, so was Shaun. All Nate could do was hope that the holotape he left on Shaun’s terminal, the one that Nora had intended to give to her husband as a surprise before all hell broke loose more than 200 years ago, was enough to bring the elderly man some semblance of peace in his final moments.

And after that, just move on…or at least try to. It was easier said than done though.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small silver locket that he carried with him. Inside was a small picture of his late wife and an infant Shaun in her arms, the photo taken a few months before the bombs fell…before the vault…before the Institute irrevocably changed his life.

A pang of nostalgia washed over him as his grip on the locket tightened some more. It was the last connection he had with the old world.

His and Nora’s wedding rings have been buried with her a while back. The holotape was now buried with Shaun beneath the irradiated rubble that was once the Institute. The crib back at Sanctuary that was meant for Shaun had been broken to bits after Nate learned that his son was no longer a baby.

He couldn’t bring himself to get rid of this last memento of the past, of what could have been…

“Nathaniel…”

Nate had been so lost deep in his thoughts that he nearly jumped from the voice that startled him, almost dropping the locket in his hand down below where he was standing. Only years of practiced discipline helped him keep his composure and spared him from embarrassment. He shot an aggravated glance over his shoulder, only for his features to soften when he realized who had approached him.  

“Almost gave me a good scare,” he admitted before briefly turning his attention onto the figure standing a short distance behind him, “What brings you up here, Leandra?”

The way Desdemona’s real name rolled off the tip of his tongue…It felt new and strange, something she had only recently confessed to him some time after their stay in Diamond City, and it was something that would take some getting used to since he had been referring to her by her codename all this time. But the way Dez…no, _Leandra’s_ eyes lit up and her expression softened every time he spoke her name was something Nate could definitely see himself looking forward to from now on…Especially now that the Railroad leader will be working from the Castle together with him.

“I was looking for you, actually,” she responded, taking a few steps towards him, standing beside the General and joining him in watching over Minutemen activity at the courtyard. Seeing her up close, he noticed how refreshed the woman looked since having dealt with the Institute and coming up to the surface.

Desdemona looked noticeably healthier than before, the bags and dark circles under her eyes having practically disappeared while her once pale skin began to take on some color now that she was more frequently exposed to the Commonwealth sun. She was still all business and no-nonsense when it came to leading the Railroad but her face was now rarely scrunched in worry, anger or concern the way it had been when she had to contend with the Institute and the Brotherhood breathing down her neck.

It has been two weeks since she and a few other agents made the move from the Old North Church to the Castle, leaving Carrington in charge of the former HQ while she did her best to adjust to the new changes she was experiencing.

The views that had been presented to her, the ‘fresh’ surface air, seeing people milling about with minimal stress and worry…the whole surrounding environment still felt a little surreal to her.

“Me?”

“I thought I would find you busy at your office. All that paperwork isn’t going to sort itself, you know,” Leandra chastised, rolling her eyes when Nate casually shrugged in response, “I figured that you would want to know that I’ve been keeping eyes on Quincy though not much has changed since the last report…The Gunners still have a heavy presence there but have not yet made any move that would threaten the Minutemen’s position.”

“I see…Is that all?” Nate asked, curious that Dez wandered throughout the fort simply to inform of a brief report that could have been left on his desk. Not that he was complaining though. He did appreciate her company as much as she did his. The General gestured for her to follow him and together they walked towards another end of the Castle, the part where they could see the northern coast of Boston, where the old airport and the Brotherhood’s airship parked above it could be seen from the distance.

“No,” she responded truthfully as she kept up her pace beside Nate, “I did want to check up on you. We haven’t had much of a chance to talk in the past few days.” The admission was a little difficult for her to speak aloud. She had always been one to maintain an air of professionalism, even after she had allowed herself to relax a little in the presence of the vault dweller next to her.

“The Railroad Alpha going out of her way to look me up in person? Hell must have truly frozen over…” his voice trailed off as he watched Leandra’s expression from the corner of his eye, suppressing a laugh when he spotted the pointed glare she sent his way.

“But I appreciate your concern,” Nate assured, offering a smile that might have made Dez a bit hot under the collar if the slight blush was anything to go by, “Everything’s working as planned for the moment…I hope. I still have a lot on my plate with the settlements though…Constant requests for defenses, supplies and materials. Some are even asking if there are any additional settlers I could send their way to fill some job vacancies.”

“I could look into them if you want,” Dez offered to which Nate arched an eyebrow in surprise, “It’s not like I have much left to do in the Railroad. Most of the synths that have come to us since we destroyed the Institute have appreciated the help though they have refused the memory wipes. Instead, they want us to point them towards a synth colony rumored to be somewhere in the north. Their…rejection is a bit worrisome but it’s their choice and I have to respect that. Maybe with the Institute truly gone, perhaps there’s no more need for memory swaps. They could be themselves without living in fear any longer…”

“No problem with that. I’m not sure if Acadia has enough space for a dozen or two more synths but I could put in a word with DiMA. I’m pretty sure he’ll find a way to accommodate them.”

Now it was Dez’s turn to be surprised.

“You already knew about the colony?”

“Knew about it? I’ve been there. It’s up in Maine, on an island called Far Harbor.”

“And you didn’t think to inform me about it?!”

Nate could only offer a sheepish smile at Desdemona’s sharp tone and disappointed look in her eyes.

“It’s…a long and complicated story. Practically a whole new can of worms to open up. And we kind of had our own problems to deal with here on the homefront. I’ll tell you all about it some other time if you want…”

After a few moments of silence, Leandra sighed as she placed one hand on her hip and the other reached up to lightly rub at her forehead.

“All right, General,” she relented, “I’ll send them on their way so long as you promise to tell me about this…’Far Harbor’ you’ve been to.”

“I am a man of my word after all.”

“So you are,” she chuckled softly, “And my offer still stands, just so you know…”

“I’m inclined to believe that you’re just looking for more excuses to sneak around in my room but if you really want to do my paperwork then knock yourself out, sweetheart.”

“ _Our_ room now, darling…And what are we going to do about the Gunners?”

“We’ll have to deal with them sooner or later but I want to make sure most of our settlements are adequately supplied and well-defended before we make a move on Quincy. What do you think?”

“Sensible enough plan, I suppose. I’ll keep sending runners and agents to observe them every once in a while in the meantime.”

“Good.”

They settled for companionable silence afterwards, both leaders taking a momentary respite from their work as they looked downwards at the waves that kept crashing around the shores outside the Castle. But then, something caught Desdemona’s attention when she shot a quick glance over at Nate.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you’re still holding onto that locket…”

At first, Nate arched an eyebrow, wondering what her comment was about but then he felt the silver jewelry held tightly in his right hand that he had forgotten to put away throughout his conversation with Dez. His last memento of his life before the bombs fell…before the Institute…

“Just a keepsake from the old days,” he said, “My only keepsake left…Has a picture of my… _late_ wife and son…”

He let his voice trail off, noticing how he put emphasis on the word late. Moments like this reminded him of the life he could have had, reminded him that Nora and Shaun were now lost and gone forever. Nate knew that no matter how much he told himself otherwise, he had yet to fully get over such feelings of loss.

Nora would have wanted him to move on and find some happiness. He would like to think he had found some peace in the camaraderie he shared with some of the people he had met in his journey across the Commonwealth but the nostalgia of the past continued to creep up on him in moments of loneliness.

“Does it bother you?”

Nate hoped he didn’t sound too confrontational with that question. He was simply both curious and concerned that keeping this…memory would be considered a deal breaker for Leandra. Apart from their few moments of intimacy, the Railroad leader was well versed with keeping her true feelings to herself. He didn’t need to look at Dez to know that she was thinking carefully on his question…Could tell that she was chewing her lip while she searched for a proper response. It was almost starting to worry him.

“No,” she responded, completely sure of her answer, “No, it doesn’t bother me at all.” She paused, looking for something else to add that would convince him (and herself) of her certainty, “Some of us just have that one person we’ll always carry a torch for. I can understand wanting to hold onto something that reminds you of a life before…before all this…”

Desdemona sighed as she turned a little to look at the man beside her, “I’m sorry. I’m not as good with words as I thought I was.”

“It’s all right. I get what you’re trying to say,” Nate responded, flashing the woman a small smile before turning his gaze back towards the coast. But the Railroad leader’s words did make him curious at that moment…More specifically, the way she spoke them.

“Personal experience?” he questioned and when he heard Dez make a “Hmm?” sound, he elaborated further, “You carrying a torch of your own for a long lost special someone?”

“You could say that.”

“A spouse? Or…”

“A family member,” the Railroad leader admitted, a wistful look in her eyes as she turned to face him once again, “Maybe I’ll talk about it one day. Just not now.”

“Of course, Leandra. No pressure.”

“Thank you, Nathaniel.”

Nate hummed in response and found himself absent-mindedly laying a hand on the small of her back, tugging her closer to him and was somewhat surprised to see that Dez did not distance herself from his touch. While they held nothing back behind closed doors, Desdemona had never really been keen on public displays of affection, always keeping their relationship professional in the presence of other Minutemen and Railroad agents.

She tilted her head slightly to the side, resting it on Nate’s shoulder as she joined him in looking beyond the Castle, out towards the sea and the airport and Brotherhood airship within the distance.

“Nice view isn’t it?” he asked without tearing his gaze away from the horizon.

“It is,” she responded softly, “…Prydwen’s a bit of an eyesore though.”

Nate chuckled at Desdemona’s response as he pulled her into a one-armed hug. She allowed herself to be pulled in closer, relishing in the warmth of Nate’s coat (and him in general) as she gently laid a hand on his chest. It was now that Nate had to admit and recognize how much he had missed this sort of interaction…the kind of interaction he would share with someone he had come to truly care for. With someone like the woman beside him who was now both his partner and lover.

He and Leandra stayed like that for a while and although it was in silence, words were not needed to convey the sense of calm and tranquility they felt within themselves. The two still had a few issues to work out; their personal demons to exorcise but if they could stick with each other long after this moment, then perhaps together they would find the peace they sought.

For now, they reveled in the quiet and the view of the horizon in front of them before heading back to face the tasks and challenges that awaited them.


End file.
